


Living's Supposed To Kill You, But It Shouldn't Feel Like Dyin'

by beautifuldisaster



Series: Steve Rogers I Will Eat Your Fucking Eyelids verse [3]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, Thor (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Awkward Flirting, Birthday Party, Fluff, Getting Together, Light Angst, M/M, Other, Sweet Sixteen, but theyre trying, doesn't really do much, just to add to the homosexuality, setting boundaries in a relationship, stephen really only exists in this story because i love him, the beginning of something really cursed, theyre very dumb, title from a trixie mattel song
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-20
Updated: 2020-04-20
Packaged: 2021-03-02 02:15:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,619
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23747443
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/beautifuldisaster/pseuds/beautifuldisaster
Summary: HEADS UP: I wrote this before a lot of this quarantine took effect. Obviously in this climate, you SHOULD NOT have huge parties like the one in this story. Stay home if you aren't an essential worker. We can get through this together. I know it's tough, but so are you. End of heads up.It's Loki's sweet sixteen! Thor has orchestrated a large gathering with all of his friends, because Loki has none. But he also might've accidentally on purpose invited En Dwi Gast, the senior Loki has a huge crush on.
Relationships: Bruce Banner/Thor, Clint Barton/Laura Barton, En Dwi Gast | Grandmaster/Loki, James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers, Minor or Background Relationship(s), Tony Stark/Stephen Strange, meaning they're alluded to
Series: Steve Rogers I Will Eat Your Fucking Eyelids verse [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1567819
Kudos: 46





	Living's Supposed To Kill You, But It Shouldn't Feel Like Dyin'

**Author's Note:**

> HEADS UP: I wrote this before a lot of this quarantine took effect. Obviously in this climate, you SHOULD NOT have huge parties like the one in this story. Stay home if you aren't an essential worker. We can get through this together. I know it's tough, but so are you. End of heads up.
> 
> I wish quarantine made me more productive, but it doesn't. This has been sitting in my notes for ages unfinished. Finally got around to finishing it and well...its much longer than I wanted it to be. And weirdly angsty? Like not a whole lot but too much for a story about space jeff goldblum eye fucking a shiny twink?  
> Background knowledge if you didn't read the chat fic first: Gast told Loki that he was in love with him, and Loki freaked the fuck out. He brushed off the confession and rejected Gast.   
> Also Gast is obsessed with jeff goldblum because why not.  
> Anyway here's this.  
> this.  
> -Ross

Loki bounced his leg under the dining room table. The consistent taptaptap of his heel the only sound in the large space.  
He traced the wooden pattern on the glossy tabletop with a black nail. His coffee sat cooling in front of him.   
Terje sighed at his feet.

It was seven on a Saturday morning. The birds began their wake-up chorus mere minutes earlier. The horses in their stables pawed at the ground and shook away the sleep.   
The rest of the Odinsons were upstairs. No one had work, and no one had school. It was a relaxing Saturday.   
It was also Loki's sixteenth birthday. 

He cupped the ceramic mug in pale fingers and drained the rest of the liquid. It burnt going down.   
Loki sputtered and opened his mouth to air it.   
That was a bad idea. Should've let it cool first.

He deposited the dish in the steel sink and climbed the staircase. He walked on the balls of his feet past the closed doors of his parents and Thor's bedrooms.

Loki had awoke to texts from his friends in Norway, a few wishes from relatives, and an inbox full of birthday congratulations from several different apps. He didn't much care for those. Apps shouldn't need to know his birthday, much less wish him a happy one.

He fed his blissfully unaware snakes, cooing at the writhing pets.   
"Today's my sweet sixteen, Kede. Legally I can get married with a parent's permission," he gave the cold reptile a peck on her round head, "and I can drive."  
Elskede stared at Loki with her slit pupils and flicked her tongue out.  
She wasn't absorbing any of this information.   
Loki draped her around his neck where she comfortably curled up around his ear.

Kjære was the next to be babied. The milk snake was undoubtedly the most independent pet. This did not mean he wasn't treated the same way.   
"You're getting so big. But you're still just a little baby, huh?" Loki smooched his head as well. Kjære was placed back in his tank instead of somewhere on Loki's person.  
He did not like to be held.  
The bite scar on his owner's collarbone was a painful reminder.

"Skatt? Are you awake? Your brother and sister are having fun without you!"   
The green tree python lifted her flat head at acknowledgment. She was the oldest and biggest of the reptiles, and secretly the one Loki thought was prettiest.   
Skatt slithered up her owner's arm and flicked her tongue at Kede.

The two female snakes got along fine after feeding. Before, Loki was careful to not let them get too close. Though neither breed was known to be an aggressive pet, tree nor ball python, all animals are capable of aggression.   
Kjære was the only one who's snapped at the other pets, or at Loki himself. 

After the snakes were fed, Loki sprawled on his queen-size bed to checked his social media. The reptiles crawled over his head and arms and eventually curled up separately around his forearms.   
"Ladies, what do you think of these shoes?" Loki held the phone up in his snakes' field of view.  
Skatt rubbed her head on the screen.  
"You like 'em? I'm thinking about ordering a pa-"  
The sentence was interrupted with a knock on Loki's heavy bedroom door.

"Loki! Good morning!"   
The door was opened to reveal Thor standing there, looking far too peppy for seven in the morning.  
"Gratulerer med dagen!" Thor cheered before leaping onto his brother's bed.   
The snakes hissed at the loud blonde's arrival.   
They weren't fond of the older Odinson.

"Are you excited for today?" Thor said, warily eyeing the coiled up reptiles. He laid back opposite of Loki, poking his brother's shoulder with a bare toe.  
Loki swatted at the digit and sat up.  
"I guess. It's gonna be mostly your friends though," Loki mumbled. He lifted his left arm to allow Kede to slither onto his head.  
Thor visibly shuddered.

"Gross."  
"Shut up." Loki let Skatt off his arm and onto the bed. She immediately crawled towards Thor.  
"Hey! Call off your guard dog," Thor whined while scrambling to get off the bed.   
"She's not hurting anything. You're lucky Kjære is still caged."

Thor huffed and plopped into the dark oak desk chair in front of Loki's immaculately organized desk. He picked up a rubber band and shot it at his brother.   
Perfect aim, right between the eyes.  
"Dammit!" Loki growled and rubbed his glabella.  
"I invited some of your friends. Bruce is coming," Thor smiled to himself, "I know you like Bruce."

Loki picked Skatt back up and slid off the bed. He padded across the pine coloured rug to the rectangular tanks.   
"Bruce is your butt-buddy. I have no negative or positive opinion of him."   
The snakes were lowered back into their respective habitats.

Thor flushed rosy.   
"He is not my butt-buddy!"  
Loki arched a sculpted eyebrow. 

Thor had previously come to Loki with the news that he was struggling with his sexuality. Loki was the only one Thor trusted at first.  
He still hadn't told anyone else but Steve, and hadn't even planned on telling the senior in the first place.

It was pretty much a given that Loki had been out as queer to his family for quite some time. Truly it didn't seem there was a time when Loki wasn't fawning over his love of boys.   
Even as children in Norway, Loki had never been the typical boy. Sure, he was energetic and loved playing tricks on his brother and family. He wasn't above playing in the snow or the mud, and his mother threw away countless grass-stained and ripped jeans.   
But there was always something a little more...Loki.   
He would wrap himself in sheets and his mother's jewelry, parading around the house in her heels.  
Many arguements were started when it came to his hair. Odin thought it was far too long. Loki would throw a fit every time his father tried to cut it.  
And no one really believed Loki cared about swimming when he bought that male swimsuit magazine subscription.

Thor went silent and stared into his clasped hands. He picked at his cuticles, a nasty habit he couldn't seem to kick.  
Loki side-eyed his now bashful brother.  
"If you have something to say, say it," Loki demanded. He pivoted towards Thor and perched his fists on his hips.  
The disappointed mother stance. Both boys had seen their fair share of that.

"You're gonna be mad at me," Thor mumbled and stood. He faced away from Loki and made eye contact with Billie Joe on a Green Day poster.   
"Have you always had this poster?"   
"Don't change the subject, what-" Loki stomped up to his brother's back and jabbed a thin finger into his spine, "-did you do?"

Thor hung his head and mumbled into his chest.  
"Thor Odinson, what did you do? I will skin you alive."  
"I invited Gast!" Thor burst.   
Loki retracted his finger from his brother's back.  
Thor took his brother's moment of shock as an opening, and booked it out of the younger's room.  
"You are DEAD!" Loki ran after his brother.

Thor knew Loki had a crush on the senior boy. A huge and at times disturbing crush. Thor truly couldn't see the appeal.   
Gast was crass, selfish, and at times, cruel. He was known for being, for lack of a better term, a slut.  
He was too tall for how skinny he was, or maybe too skinny for how tall he was. Something was off. Thor likened him to a plucked chicken.  
But Loki seemed head over faux leather heels for the silver haired freak.

This huge crush was why Thor was being chased around the house, life in certain danger.

Loki cornered Thor in the kitchen. The two ended up on separate sides of the marble topped island.   
"You dick! I'll jump over this damn counter!" Loki threatened. He plucked a banana from the fruit bowl and chucked it at his brother.

Thor ducked, and the banana hit the fridge. The appliance was splattered with banana flavoured entrails.

An apple was lobbed at Loki's chest.  
"Why are you mad at me?! I'm trying to help you!"   
Loki let out an unf as the red fruit momentarily knocked the air out of him.   
He picked the bruised apple up and threw it back. That half a season of baseball was finally getting use.  
"You're no help at all!"

This time, the fruit smacked Thor in the right collarbone. He hissed at the feeling. It was almost as bad as hitting your funny bone on a table. Almost. Nothing was quite as bad as that.

"How was I supposed to know that you're so tempermental!"   
That was apparently the last straw.

Loki shoved everything off the island and slid over the smooth surface, vaulting himself onto his brother. The two went down to the ground in a flurry of thrown hits and insults.  
"I'm not tempermental!" Loki punctuated each word, punching his brother across the cheek.   
Thor brought his hand to the back of the shorters's head, and yanked at his black ponytail.   
Loki screeched and pulled at Thor's recently cropped blonde.  
Thor slapped Loki across the cheek.  
"Then act it!"  
This only prompted Loki to knee his brother in the junk.  
Thor doubled over, but not before also kneeing the other where the sun don't shine.

Frigga had woken to the sound of a crash. She entered the kitchen, expecting the dogs knocked something over. What she didn't expect to find was her two teenage sons crouched on the ground, protectively holding their crotches and both sporting hand prints on their cheeks.  
"What the f-"

Frigga scolded the boys for fighting after checking for serious injury. She demanded they clean the kitchen spotless of dirt, dust, and any splattered fruit.

"Now what in the world got into you two?" She prodded once the kitchen was recovered from Hurricane Loki.  
The boys were sitting on opposite ends of the white leather couch, holding ice packs to their faces.  
The sight almost made Frigga laugh. Despite being sixteen and eighteen, the boys still pouted like their five year old selves.  
The dusty photo albums in the attic probably contained the exact same image.

"Thor invited-"  
"Loki threw-"  
Frigga stopped them with a hand.  
She gestured to Loki. He was more often than not the one who got pushed too far.

"Thor invited the guy I like to my party even though I told him I don't want him there!" Loki whined. Thor scoffed.

"Thor dear," Frigga sat between her boys and put her arms around both, "if Loki specifically asked you not to invite someone, why do it?"

"Because! I'm tired of Loki swooning over this guy! He needs to make a move," Thor defended. He dropped his ice pack onto the coffee table.   
Frigga nodded, pulling her son's head down to kiss his hair.  
She did the same to Loki, though he tried to pull away.  
"He also chased me and threw a banana at me."   
Frigga let herself laugh at that one.   
Kids may grow older, but they never really change.

Once both teens were settled and sorted out, Frigga sent them upstairs to prepare for the party.

Loki admired himself in the full length mirror adjacent to his bed. He'd always considered himself the best dressed in the house. Thor only knew how to wear sweatshirts and jeans.   
Yet here Loki was, head to toe clad in a perfectly tailored casual suit.  
Emerald silk jacket, black pants, and a black turtleneck. Just because he was to be surrounded by Thor's annoying posse, didn't mean he couldn't look absolutely fabulous.

Loki exited his room at the same time Thor did.   
He slowly looked his brother up and down and scoffed.  
"That's it?"   
"You look like Oscar Wilde's booty call" Thor chided.  
He would die defending that a sweatshirt and jeans were perfectly acceptable. Especially at someone else's party.

The backyard was set up with white tables covered in golden tablecloths and silverware. Had it been Loki's way, it would've been real gold.

Thor had asked Frigga if she would prepare the food, but she would not. She knew Thor's friends, and knew they ate too much for her to keep up with. Ahem, Steve and Bucky.  
Odin suggested having a "potluck". Everyone could bring their own dish. That way those who had alternative diets, allergies or veganism, wouldn't be left out.

The only thing currently on the food table were plates- also gold, napkins, and the cake.   
Loki hadn't wanted one until he knew Thor would have absolutely no hand in the creation of the dessert. Thor could burn water. It was vanilla, because of course it was. 

"It'll look better when the lights come on," Frigga commented, walking by with a stack of folded paper lanterns.  
She shifted the stack to one arm and wrapped the other around her son.   
"You need to stop growing. You're making me feel like an old woman." She squeezed Loki's arm.   
He laid his hand over hers. His mother may age, but she would always be the most beautiful woman to exist. She would never be an old woman.

The tender moment was, of course, ruined when Odin called for his wife's help.   
He was across the yard halfway up on a ladder hanging the lanterns in an ancient oak tree. Thor was attempting to hold the thing still, but was distracted by Inger and Arne jumping on him.   
"God help him," Frigga muttered before once again whisking away.   
Loki stifled a giggle as Odin scolded Thor for wiggling the ladder again.   
Those paper lanterns were never going to get hung at this rate.

Bruce, Clint, Natasha, and Laura were the first to arrive. Bruce had volunteered to bring drinks, while Clint had copped out and brought cups.   
Even then, Loki theorized Laura had bought the cups.  
Natasha hadn't cared to bring anything.

Immediately, Thor was by Bruce's side. It was almost disgusting they way they danced around each other.

Thor would lean into Bruce's shoulder, Bruce would scoot over. Bruce touched Thor's shoulder while laughing, Thor would immediately go red.   
Loki desperately wanted to go over and push their faces together yelling 'Just kiss already!'  
But that would probably make it worse.

Steve and Bucky came next. Loki wasn't particularly close to Bucky. No one seemed close to Bucky except Steve. He could admit, they made a very attractive couple.   
Thor's friends were always hotter than Loki's, and he was fine with that.

"Happy sixteenth, Loki," Steve greeted with that poster child smile. He extended a hand towards the birthday boy.   
Usually, Loki didn't accept handshakes or any physical contact, really.  
But Steve looked clean and tidy. 

"Thank you. My, your hands are so big," he purred, coming out much more sensual than he intended. Just couldn't seem to turn off the charm.   
"Oh, thank you. Where should we set the..." he trailed off, gesturing to Bucky, who was holding a dish of some sort and looking very unhappy.   
Loki had just flirted with his boyfriend right in front of him. 

"Just on that table over there."   
Bucky brushed up against Loki as he sauntered past, hard enough to throw off his balance.   
Yep. Definitely not happy.

Rhodey and Sam weren't long after, they might've even carpooled with Steve and Bucky.  
Then Brunhilde gathered the willpower to show up. She didn't stay outside very long. Instead she made herself comfortable in her favourite napping spot, the overstuffed couch in Thor's room.  
Peter Quill and Gamora, dragging a reluctant Nebula with them.   
Someone Loki thinks is named Drax, a Korean girl who obviously appreciated green as much as Loki, and two others Loki didn't care to know.  
The Maximoff twins, Nick Fury and his lackey Coulson, and Maria.   
Tony was, as always, fashionably late. He brought Stephen and the freshman Peter as well.   
Yet no sign of Gast. 

Loki let out a sigh of relief when an hour passed, and still no sign of the older boy. The tables were filling with chattering teenagers and the buffet had amassed quite the plethora of dishes. Perhaps he could actually socialise instead of anxiously standing alone by the back door.

"Hello, I'm Loki. I don't believe we've met," he introduced himself to the closest table.

A scruffy haired boy glared up at him. He had almost painful looking dark circles and wild black hair.  
"Rocket. This 's Groot. He don't talk much," he grumbled and nodded to the other boy at the table.   
"Pleasure to meet you. You're friends of Thor?" Loki returned Groot's wave. What an abysmal name. Poor kid.   
Rocket shrugged and kicked two dirty combat boots onto the table.   
"Yeah, ya could say that. Also, hey, free food."   
Loki grimaced. That table cloth would need to be washed. Or incinerated.

Groot pointed to Loki, then touched his pinky to his thumb and twisted it outwards.  
"He asked if you're sixteen." Rocket translated.  
"Yes I am. How old are you?"   
"I'm sixteen, an' he's fifteen. 'Cept my sixteenth wasn't quite so..." he trailed off, gesturing to the decorated yard.  
"Say, what's the most expensive thing in your house?"   
Loki walked away.

Bruce waved Loki over to his table with Tony, Stephen, Peter, and Thor.   
All the seats were taken, so the teen stood awkwardly at his brother's side.

"I got you something." Bruce pulled a rectangular gift from his jacket.  
"I would've gotten you something, but I don't like you," Tony cracked. Stephen whapped him in the shoulder. 

"Oh, you really didn't have to." Loki hadn't asked for anything. Honestly, what else could he want?  
"I think you'll like it," Bruce winked to Thor.  
That was highly alarming.

Underneath the teal striped paper was a DVD collection of all three original Jurassic Park movies.   
"Oh for the love of-" Loki rolled his eyes at the inside joke. 

Loki asked for Bruce's help with dating. Gast was the first boy Loki had a real crush on, and he was floundering. When mentioned that Gast had an affinity for some American actor named Jeff, Bruce suggested watching Jurassic Park together.   
Now he couldn't make the excuse that he didn't own the movie. 

"For you and Gast!" Thor guffawed.   
"Aww, date night!" Peter joined in.

Loki had almost entirely forgotten about his trepidation by the time the music was set up. The playlist was taken directly from his Spotify account and contained a harrowing mix of 80s pop and 2000s punk with a dash of Scandinavian metal.   
Now that was fun to watch people's expressions as they listened.

Loki wasn't much of a dancer, and the kind he was good at would not go over well right in front of his parents.   
So Loki mostly just swayed.

However his blissful swaying was halted by hands around his waist.  
Tanned hands, with bright blue nails, adorned with gauty jewelry.  
He knew exactly whose hands these were.

Before he could even grasp what was happening, Gast's arm was twisted behind his back and held tightly.  
"Whoaa darling! I'm just wishing you a happy birthday," Gast scrambled. He tried to wiggle from the grip.   
"You really are a masochist," Loki grunted and let the older's arm return to its natural position.  
"Can't, y'know, blame a guy for trying, huh?" Gast whistled at the decorated backyard. He shook the feeling back into his hand.

Loki wanted to slap him. He wanted to push him away and run. He wanted to grab the collar of that stupid golden jacket and trace that powder blue lip ring with his tongue.   
Instead, Loki just huffed.

"Why are you here?"   
"I was invited, princess. What kind of food are we, uh, dealing with here?" Gast swaggered to the buffet table. The winks given to other party-goers were not overlooked. 

Loki fumed as Gast loaded up his plate. Loki fumed as Gast chatted to Frigga. Loki fumed as Gast took a seat at Peter Quill's table.

"Hey button nose, if you hate me so much, how come you haven't left my side?" Gast prodded.   
"I have to make sure you don't sleep with any of Thor's friends." It wasn't a lie, but it also kinda was.   
"Aww, Lokes. You enjoy my company," Gast teased while digging into the mac n' cheese Maria provided.  
"Say, you uh, got a bathroom in this joint?" 

Loki grumbled.  
"It's my house. Of course we do."  
Gast stood and stretched.   
"Mind leading me to one then?"

Reluctantly, Loki left the cheerful noise of the party for the quiet of the empty house. Empty besides Brunhilde, who was most likely still asleep in Thor's room. 

"The guest bathroom is just dow-" Loki made to gesture but noticed Gast was no longer behind him. 

The older teen was looking at the pictures on the living room wall. His hands were clasped behind his back, in some kind of evaluation stance.  
He tapped the glass of a photo in a white frame.   
"Is this you?"

"This is not the bathroom!"  
Loki pulled him by away from the wall by the collar. Gast stumbled and decided to steady himself by putting an arm around Loki.   
"Move the arm, or you lose the arm." Loki said through gritted teeth. 

He softened when he finally looked to the picture being referred to.

A toddler age Loki was holding a puppy aged Terje in his lap. The energetic little pup was hardly in focus. He wouldn't stop moving while Frigga held the camera up. 

Loki was grinning, chubby cheeks and all.  
This was before he committed to the long hair. His black locks were sitting curly on top. 

Loki carefully unhooked the picture from the wall. He held it tenderly to admire the glint in his child self's eye. A glint long lost to a sea of dull life.   
"Yeah...that's me and Terje." His voice sounded distant. He sighed at the picture. Why was this making him so weepy all of a sudden? Was it because Gast was there with his arm still resting on Loki's slim shoulders?   
Loki glanced at the senior. 

Oh, god. The midday lighting pooled into the spacious living room from the floor to ceiling windows opposite the picture wall. The drops of sun carefully wrapped around Gast's straight jaw and hooked nose. His golden tan skin shone like glaze, and Loki bet it was just as sweet. 

Perhaps he was glancing for a bit too long. Gast cleared his throat and moved to look at another picture.

Loki hooked the frame back onto the wall but made no move to follow Gast. He was frozen. A million thoughts ran through his head, not a single one helpful. Kiss him, dont kiss him, turn and run, punch him, make a joke. Nothing made sense.  
Oh, god. 

"Ay, uh, Earth to Loki?" Gast clapped his hands together. The loud pop, combined with the clink of his rings brought Loki back.   
It was now or never. He was riding on a wave of nostalgia.

"Gast, when you told me you loved me, were you serious?" Loki tried to keep the shake from his voice.  
"Serious as a heart attack." 

Loki hugged himself tightly. It was the only way to hold all the pieces together. He couldn't fall apart right now.   
"Why?" 

Gast didn't hear.   
"Why did you say it?" Loki repeated louder. 

The clock on the wall kept track of how many seconds the room was silent.   
Distantly, voices could be heard. Chatting and laughing. Dogs yipping. Everybody just on the other side of a wall were so unaware. Unaware that Loki was about to implode.

"I don't know. It felt right," he shuffled closer, "Why suffer with this burden in my heart?" He lifted Loki's chin with the touch of a feather. 

"I think I..."  
Loki leaned into Gast's touch.   
"I think I love you too."

Gast smiled. A real, genuine smile. Not the one he gave to cute boys and girls. Not the one he used to escape punishment. His eyes crinkled and his cheeks blushed.   
This was a smile of love.

This was what being loved felt like.  
Loki had been loved before, by his mother and brother obviously. And in some other, roundabout way by his father.   
And Heimdall, an old caretaker. Heimdall loved him too.  
But this was so much different.

This was a love that was forever. Granted, Loki knew a lot of relationships broke up, but it felt like forever. A love recreated through time. Not grown in labs or shipped with thoughtless cards. A love that was whole and consuming.

Loki touched their foreheads. Gast was comfortably warm. His skin was soft against the other. Loki guessed he used citrus scented body wash. Or maybe shampoo. Whatever. Somewhere, he smelled like breezy weather and orange trees. 

"Hey, not to interrupt you staring into each other's eyes, but Frigga's cutting the cake," Stephen said nonchalantly from the archway. Tony dogwhistled from his side.  
"We got here just in time before they started ripping off each other's skinny jeans."  
Tony bounced his eyebrows suggestively.  
Stephen cuffed him in the back of the head.

"I do-don't-" Loki stuttered. He was mortified.  
Gast just threw on that plastic smile and chuckled. He was unflappable.  
"Damn Tony, right at the best part." He returned Tony's wink.

The intruders left to collect their cake. Stephen whispered something, but not loud enough to know what he said.  
When the sliding door to the backyard was shut, Loki let out a sigh. The one person who couldn't keep quiet for shit had seen him so intimate with Gast.   
Everyone is gonna know he has feelings all because Tony can't keep his stupid mouth sh-   
"Hey, you're cute when you blush," Gast drawled, "I should make you do it more often."  
He cupped Loki's burning face in a tender hold. 

"Do you want cake?" Those were the only words Loki's mouth would say.   
So lame.  
"Eventually, but there's something else I want right now." 

Gast threaded his fingers into the fine hairs at Loki's nape. He essentially cradled the smaller teen's head. Momentarily, Loki thought about just how big his hands were. His head fit perfectly between those experienced digits.   
"Can I kiss you?" 

This was too fast for Loki. He couldn't keep up. It was as if Gast had crossed the finish line, and Loki hadn't even started running. Parts of him wanted Gast. More than just a kiss. But the louder parts were having a melt down.   
He wasn't ready for this. 

Loki took too long to respond, and Gast pulled away. He knew when he wasn't wanted.   
A new expression was added into Loki's 'Many Faces of En Dwi Gast' catalog.  
A melancholy smile. Sure, the mouth was a happy upturned shape, but the eyes were deserted of hope. Of wanting something that didn't want you back.   
Loki did not like that expression. He did not care for it at all. He hated it.

"No! Don't," Loki picked up the hands from where they'd settled. He intertwined their fingers together. His milky pale skin melded with a warm caramel.   
"I don't know if I'm ready for kissing just yet. But please don't think I'm rejecting you."

The smile Loki preferred crept back onto the other's face. He kissed the back of Loki's hand instead.   
"There, like the royalty you are." He winked.  
Loki groaned, "That was so cheesy I can taste it."  
He gave a quick peck back to Gast's fingers.   
"Let's go get some cake, you dumbass."   
"Whatever you say, diva."


End file.
